Ricky Gervais' Monologue: Heh heh – “Let’s get on with it before NBC replace me with Jay Leno.” :)
:08 – Ugh. Mo’nique done made me cry already.
:17 – Mavis, huh? Old school!
:17 – I’m confused. Why is Jim Parsons kind of hot?
:19 – Is Michael C Hall in chemo? If not, he needs to take that hat off. If so, best wishes for a speedy recovery.
:21 – HAH! “But animation is not just for children. It is also for adults who take drugs.” (Paul McCartney)
:31 – “Wow…this is not how it was going to go…I, like Ricky Gervais, will never be asked to do this again.” (Felicity Huffman)
:33 – Why, Jon Hamm, WHY?!?!?!?!?! For the love of god, SHAVE!
:35 – Where is Micheal C Hall from? Ah – North Carolina. That explains the accent.
:36 – I don’t think I really agree with the neckline/cut-out on Juliana Margulies’ dress. Ooh, or the texture/color shift. HAH! But I like that – “I’d bow down, but the dress’ll rip.”
:38 – I love the look on the face of the woman behind Drew Barrymore as they go to commercial. She looks like she’s in the middle of telling her friend to look at someone. “No, no, no – over there, past Kyra Sedgewick…”
:44 – And the CrazyDivaMeter goes off the rails!!!! [Cher and Xina]
:47 – Jason Stackhouse is lookin’ good tonight.
:53 – OK, Amy Adams, I know you’re pregnant, but there had to be a better dress than that. Seriously. Next time, if you can’t find anything, just wear this:
:58 – HAHAHAHAHA! Tom Hanks just capped on Alec Baldwin!
Also :58 – Meryl is looking gorgeous!
:59 – RG: One stereotype I hate, is that all Irishmen are just drunk sweary hellraisers. Please welcome Colin Farrell!
1:00 – Hooray - Colin is looking like himself again!
1:09 – DAMN, HELEN MIRREN! Well played.
1:11 – What the hell is happening with your dress, Zoe Saldana?
1:13 - “Let’s take care of each other. Peace. Thank you.” Well said, Kevin Bacon.
Also 1:13 – "Bottoms up," Morgan Freeman!
1:14-16 Drew, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there seems to be a fungus sprouting on your dress. OK, but I love you, Drew. Aww, and now I love you even more: “This is for all the people who were nice enough to love me, and to wish me the best along the way…Thank you for guiding me in the right direction – I would like to rise to your occasion and guidance, I love you, I am humbled, and honored.”
1:22 – RG: "I don’t want to keep going on about actors, but they're the most important ones. It’s not the words you say, it’s how good you look when you’re saying them."
1:22 – Wow, Jennifer Aniston – that is A LOT of leg! Not that Mekhi Phifer cares. He looks thoroughly unimpressed. And whoever this chick is just looks confused. But you do look good, Jennifer. I’m not loving the asymmetry (it just looks like you’re falling out of your dress), but your hair and makeup look great, if a bit low-key.
1:24 – Yay, Up In the Air! A well deserved win for writing.
1:25 – Ivan Reitman just nailed this speech. From the wonderful and seemingly heartfelt compliment to Clooney to the shout-out to his wife to the comment to his dad – perfect.
1:26 – I love the screams for Glee ☺
1:27 – Ok, that is not a good color for you, Maggie G.
1:34 – Sophia Loren shows ‘em how to wear a dress.
1:39 - Christina Hendricks is a hottie, making it sad that this dress is doing her no favors.
1:45 – TAYLOR!!!
1:47 – You know what? There’s a gracious way to handle that, "Chloï." That is not it. You don't want anyone to step on your ugly train? Pick it up. I now feel less bad about them misspelling your name.
1:49 – Halle, you know I love you. You know I will always be jealous of you. But the girls are making a break for it!
1:59 – Aw, Martin Scorsese looks truly touched.
2:03 – OK, I do need to watch more Scorsese films.
2:13 – Jodee looks great. I don’t love the hip (you can pull it off, if you’re that small, but I don’t think it’s actually flattering), but I love the top of her dress.
2:14 – I *heat* RG: “I like a drink as much as the next man. Unless the next man is Mel Gibson!”
2:16 – And I still have no interest in watching this movie. How can you give Scorsese an award for making real movies and then… OK – that “have to pee” line was sort of funny. And a classy shout-out to Katherine Bigelow. But I’m still not going to see “White Man Saves the Blueface.”
2:19 – YAY GLEE! You’re not going to win, but YAY GLEE!
2:20 OH, GLEE TOTALLY WON!!!
Also 2:20 – Jane Lynch is a giant. And who is in that fabulous silver dress? Well played, Quinn!
2:26 – I might have to buy The Hangover.
2:26 – OK, ladies – THAT is how you do an asymmetrical neckline! And I love that color, too, Reese.
2:34 – Somebody wrote good jokes for Ah-nuld. But I still can’t be arsed about Avatar.
2:35 – Avatar is going to win for best picture, isn’t it? I might weep.
Also 2:35 – RDJ, what is up with your facial hair? I love you, but that’s just ridiculous.
Also also 2:35 – Wow, mickey. I don’t even know where to start.
2:35-6 – I would like to applaud most of the best actress nominees for not clapping for themselves. Mostly well done, ladies.
2:36 – Really?! The blind side? Ok. I’m still not going to watch it, but…Really?! I love the color of your dress, though, Sandra. I don’t love the skirt, but I love the color of it.
2:38 – Gerard Butler looks really confused.
2:39 – And that was really sweet.
2:39 – I love RDJ as much as the next person, but Sherlock Holmes did not deserve any nominations for anything. It was entertaining, but not all that.
2:39 - AND THE WINNER IS...Really? Over JGL in 500 Says of Summer?! No. Nay, I say. Nay.
2:40 – Dear RDJ: I am so glad that you are off the drugs and back in the public eye. I don’t think Sherlock Holmes deserved any awards, but you are made of awesome. That is all.
2:47 – I love how Morgan Freeman’s face is like, "Me? Nominated? Not bad, not bad at all.”
2:47 – Why is Jeff Bridges is looking like Kris Kristofferson?
2:50 – I see you, Colin! I know you like chocolate – CALL ME!!
2:56 – This chicken I cooked is SO GOOD!
2:56 – I knew it. What is this award supposed to reward? Because, while I haven’t seen Avatar, I’ve seen Up In the Air, and I promise you that it’s a better movie than Avatar. Maybe not bigger, maybe not more expensive, but better. Hell, I haven’t even seen The Hurt Locker and I’d bet you any money that it’s a better movie than Avatar. Whatever. At least it can’t win at the SAG Awards.