Litmus; Six Degrees of Separation; Flesh and Bone; Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Slept on liveblogging this one. Will say in summary that I kept thinking of something my mom used to say all the time: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
In short: Cylon went boom, innocent (mostly) people went down, HeadSix is really into Baltar's project, Baltar is really into Starbuck, and Chief and I are both less into BoomToast1. Also? Chief was right, and she needed to be classier about it than that. Meanwhile, on Caprica, CapricaSix beat BoomToast2's ass and tightened the noose on Helo (who is still all kinds of hot, in case you were wondering). Shit.
Six Degrees of Separation
Baltar continues to have really serious issues. HeadSix continues to prosyletize. And now Six is Godfrey? Whoa.
Starbuck is super gimpy, Baltar is is in terrible trouble, and the Pres just passed out RIGHT as Baltar said exactly the right thing.
GodfreySix seems to be trying to seduce PopAdama. There's no way that's going to work, right? No, no - not working. But she had to know that. Right?
Meanwhile, on Caprica, Cylons continue to chase BoomToast and Helo. R. wants to know what they want with him, so were pausing to catch up. Right now, the best we can tell is that Helo is trying not to get dead, and also trying to get off the planet. The Cylons want him alive for something, but we don't know what. We are both a bit annoyed with the whole "dangerous women who control things with their magical hoohahs" theme.
And Baltar just rolled up on poor Lieutenant whatsit on the toilet. Because he has no sense.
And, on the hangar deck...awwwwwkwaaaaaard. Chief struggles with the CyShip, while BoomToast1 seems a *little* too intuitively connected to it. Chief seems suspicious - as he should be.
CrustyAlcoholic fucks with Starbuck's brain. I suspect it's going to work, because, well, she's Starbuck.
OK, Lietenant whatsit cannot possibly be that stupid. Did you really leave that unprotected? And why is Baltar so bad at this? There are at least 3 different stories that could have gotten you out of this earlier on - the first of them being the absolute truth. At the beginning. And now you're in the brig. And instead of being held responsible for accidentally fucking up in a HUGE way, you are now in trouble for having intentionally sold out the human race.
Starbuck climbs back into the ShipLon.
BoomToast1 finds a message on her mirror - someone thinks she's a Cylon. Which we know is true because there is a BoomToast2, currently busy getting busy with Helo on Caprica. But I suspect that none of the humans actually suspect BoomToast yet. I think GodfreySix did it.
Baltar has a serious come to Jesus moment, tears, divine will and all. GodfreySix disappears completely and Baltar is now damn-near untouchable, having been shown to be innocent (which he's not) and the victim of Cylon conspiracy (which he is).
Also, the ShipLon starts up for Starbuck. I wonder if they're fucked up enough to make Starbuck a Cylon.
Flesh and Bone
The Pres is having a weird dream in which she, for some reason, runs to a Cylon. Bad idea. And he gets airlocked? In a jungle? And now he's on the Gemini Traveler. And Starbuck is the best person to send to talk to him? I'm confused by this.
BoomToast1 is singing to the CyShip.
This cylon's name is Leoban, and he knows who Starbuck is. Begin the mindfuck on my signal...
"To know the face of God is to know madness." I think Dinesen would agree with that. The mindfuck continues, though no clue yet to what purpose.
And why does Six hate Boomer so much? BoomToast1 wants to be tested for Cylonity. BoomToast2 runs late and looks longingly at sleeping Helo. CapricaSix thinks BoomToast is gross because she "acts like one of them," by which she means "one of us." HeadSix snarks too. I wonder what their beef is.
Leoban tells Starbuck that God loves everyone, that humans are evil, that God created the Cylons. Starbuck, of course, says that humans did that. I've never understood why those would be mutually exclusive.
Leoban makes a threat, which turns out not to be a bluff. But he's subdued again (willingly?) and says he has a surprise for Starbuck. Who "takes the gloves off." Which means waterboarding. Well, straight up drowning, really.
And the Cylon talks! But only about Starbuck's tortured past. Why is she listening to this? I mean, besides the part where it's obviously true.
Baltar laughs at BoomToast1 wanting to be tested. So, is he going to find out that she's a Cylon, or is the machine a fake? Machine says she's a Cylon, which is true. What's he going to do?
Leoban tells Starbuck that it's all happened before and will all happen again. And also some junk about rivers and streams. And he uses her real name. He says they're going to find Cobol, which will lead her to Earth. And...The Pres! The Pres takes Starbuck to task for torturing Leoban for 8 hours and not finding out where the warhead is. I'm not really sure that she's so upset about the torture. I think she's about to airlock him. Or take his restraints off? I feel like that can't be a good call. Ah, she's trying to sweet talk him into a truce. Tell me where the bomb is and I'll let you live - we don't have to fight. Now he cops to Starbuck's theory, that he made it up because he's too far out and was afraid to die. And he pleads for clemency for Kara, because the military teaches you to dehumanize people. And he says Adama (which?) is a Cylon. Which I feel certain is false. But, I think it's true that there's no bomb.
And the President airlocks his ass! Damn! To which Starbuck objects. The Pres. says, you know what? Dude is a deadly machine. And you get rid of those. But Starbuck and Leoban are having a hands touching through glass moment. WTF?
Ah, I see. Starbuck's got the family idols in her locker. And she's praying for Leoban's soul (just in case).
And I feel like things just got really interesting between PopAdama and The Pres.
Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down
Cylon tester online - The Pres says PopAdama should go first, and there's some banter. Is it bad that I want those two to hook up?
Cute couple is on a date. The fact that they are a cute couple means a) one of them is a Cylon, b) one of them is going to get killed, c) both.
Baltar continues to be batshit, is having sex with HeadSix. In the lab. Which is not locked. Of course Starbuck walks in on him. She wants her blood test.
Random wounded Cylon raider, and PopAdama AWOL. Now back, with some chick's legs. Oh, snap - he went to get CrustyAlcoholic's wife!
Meanwhile, back on Caprica... Old-school Cylons sure do make a lot of noise. Not much for the stealth, I suppose. BoomToast2 says the horde of Cylons is after her because she heard plans, etc. Hrm.
PopAdama has brought back Tigh's wife, who seems to have amnesia. I'm guessing that it's her blood he's dropped off to have tested, but The Pres wants Baltar to get back on PopAdama's sample.
They're trying to get info from the wounded raider. Why does that make me nervous? And why is Tigh so happy to see the chick whose face he burned a hole in? The past is past, blah, blah, blah. What did she do? And why are all the women nymphos? Tigh's wife (who seems to have a bad situation going on with her fake upper lip) is falling into the same sketchy sexpot pattern.
And now Baltar is resuming the test on Ellen, who is Tigh's wife. Who is obviously a Cylon, because she is seducing someone. And she's brought alcohol to the alcoholic. And she's just put a foot in Apollo's groin (in a sexual way). And now she's being all grabby. The boozy older woman with wandering hands would be a lot less annoying if not for the whole "they're all nymphos except The Pres." thing.
Helo is suddenly big with the falling down - probably because his Cylon girlfriend has run him to exhaustion. And the place is swarming with OSCs.
And CylonExWife is trying to poison Tigh against PopAdama.
And now PopAdama and The Pres are bickering. Oh, wait - now they're all bickering. Awesome.
So, BoomToast2 has gone rogue for real? CapricaSix sneers, but SpaceyCylon tells her that she's jealous of the love that BoomToast2 and Helo feel, because it makes them seem so...alive. *sigh* R. asks, with justifiable annoyance, if it's really all going to boil down to, "We're robots and we wish we were human?"
For the record, I did not love that episode. The dialogue was corny and off, and it felt like filler.
ETA: Really, Baltar? I mean, I know you're in a tough spot, but... Is his moral compass ever going to point anywhere besides whatever he takes to be in his best interest? And how is it actually in his best interest to shelter Cylons? I mean, OK, maybe don't say to their faces, "DUDE! You're totally a toaster!" but the destruction of the human race would also include the destruction of Gaius Baltar, and I think maybe that should be a good enough self-serving reason to rat someone out behind her Toaster back. Right? Maybe I've misundertood self-preservation somehow.